Posts Tagged ‘happiness’

Joining the World of Blog Talk Radio

Thursday, June 4th, 2009

I am finally going to have my own Blog Talk Radio Show.  The title is: Second Act Success for Baby Boomers and Beyond. The shortened version is  Second Act Success.  The  focus of the show will be on how to make this the best time of your life.

In the second half of life the emphasis what matters shift to desiring  inner happiness, having meaningful relationships, and being able to pursue ones passions.  There are many people who yearn for those things but they talk them selves out of attaining them.  In my radio show I will be giving specific tools for what to do in order to achieve Second Act Success.  Of course each of us defines success in our own way. That is how it should be since we are all unique.  The beauty is that as mature adults we have the power within us to create our life so we feel successful.

As soon as I have set up the date and time of the Second Act Success show I will post it here, twitter about it, and spread it on facebook.

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For Mother’s Day: Tips For Dealing With What Life Brings Your Way

Saturday, May 9th, 2009

This is the first Mother’s Day without my mother.  She died last fall a day shy of her 95th birthday.  As I think of her I see that she has left us a legacy of wisdom tips.  She would describe them as common sense.  She was born in Estonia into a comfortable life which changed drastically during the Second World War.  As a young woman of 29 she fled with her husband, mother, and four young children to Austria and later came to the USA.  Looking back at her life I can see that it was her optimism, tenacity, and spirit that sustained and nurtured our family.

Life tips from my mother:

1. Be open to change

Events happen and circumstances change.  Change is part of life. You are best off putting your energy into finding solutions.

2. Go with the flow

That is much better than fighting things that are truly out of your control.  Use your common sense to figure out the difference.

3. Let go of regrets

Regrets can keep you stuck in the past.  Appreciate what you had but put your energy into the present where you can create  your future.

4. Draw on your resilience

All of us have strengths inside us that we do not even know are there until we truly need them.  Trust yourself and rise to the occasion.

5. Do not forget to go for a daily walk because it will clear your head and be good for your body.

6. Remember you will always possess what is inside you

Material things can end up being temporary but the knowledge you carry within you is there forever.  Get all the education you can, apply yourself, and enjoy what you are doing.

7. Do not complain

Complaining wastes energy.  Instead be  pleasant and have a positive outlook.

8. Be generous,  loving, and share laughter with others.

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A Gift Idea For Grandmothers on Mother’s Day

Tuesday, May 5th, 2009

There are times when a book comes out that really captures the versatility and uniqueness of a special group of people.  Such a new book is “Eye of My Heart - 27 writers reveal the hidden pleasures and perils of being a grandmother”.  Barbara Graham, a noted writer herself, asked  these women to share their stories. The result shows what a diverse group of people we are defining what it is like to be a grandmother in the 21st century.   I am happy to include myself in this group since I am a grandmother to six delightful children.

What makes these stories so good is that they are written from the heart.  Many of the authors will be well known to the readers. To get a glimpse into their families is a special treat.  They talk about the struggles of working out the roles between adult children and grandparents, what to be called, how much to be involved etc. all illuminated by the sheer joy of being a grandmother.

So if anyone is still looking for that special gift for Mother’s Day I would highly recommend “Eye of my Heart” by Barbara Graham.

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Posted in Grow With Kristina, communication, relationships | No Comments »

Bring Forth Your Potential

Monday, May 4th, 2009

One of the most influential teachers I ever had was Virginia Satir.  She was a pioneer in family therapy. I believe, her greatest contribution was her stead fast belief that “our path to our higher selves is through the development of high self-worth and that all people can learn to behave in accordance with their higher natures.”

She was  optimistic about human potential. She believed that if one  grew up in a home where  parents could not teach  self worth one could learn new coping and communication skills later in life that would be empowering.  Much of  my work is exactly that - guiding people to bring forth their human potential.  I do this by teaching self-growth and relationship skills for enhancing self mastery and strengthening relationships.  Additionally, I provide coaching over the telephone and therapy in my office in Annapolis.

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Posted in Grow With Kristina, Making Changes, relationship skills | 1 Comment »

More on Process

Monday, April 27th, 2009

In my last post I talked about the usefulness of learning to think process. I defined process as looking objectively at what goes on between people.  By learning to think process there is a new richer understanding of the relationship dynamic.

Mary and John appeared to have a good relationship.  Both were successful people professionally and their friends were truly shocked when they separated. By  looking  at the process between them it was apparent that their emotional connection was with work and not with each other.  Gradually their relationship had morphed into being really good roommates with little intimacy. The break-up occurred when Mary made an emotional connection with a co-worker and  was willing to risk getting out of the marriage because of the  emotional loneliness.

An alternative for Mary and John would have been to address their intimacy gap and to take action to close it.  They could have done that if they had acknowledged that they missed the emotional intimacy which they had shared earlier in their marriage. By understanding their process and  taking emotional risks to be authentic with each other and/or availing themselves of professional help couples have successfully rekindled their relationship.

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Does Emotional Fitness Create Happiness?

Saturday, November 22nd, 2008

What creates happiness?  The pursuit of it is promised to us as an inalienable right. I like the word pursuit because it puts responsibility on us to attain it.  The right may be there, but we have to pursue it and create it for ourselves.  Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, author of “Finding Flow,” maintains that people are happiest when they are challenging themselves with tasks that require skill and commitment.  He maintains that it is the act of being actively engaged that gives people the greatest pleasure. I find that this is true for me. Studies have repeatedly shown that money does not bring happiness, though it makes life easier.

How does this tie in with emotional fitness?  People who are emotionally fit like who they are and create opportunities for themselves that challenge them.  By continuing to grow one’s emotional fitness, the ability to deal with what life brings is greatly increased.  Happiness is not a constant state, but living a life of engagement is a good guarantee for having a lot of it.

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Recharge Your Life and Renew Your Spirit

Friday, October 24th, 2008

Recently I was asked by several people why I use the word “Recharge” rather than change. The reason I settled on recharge is that I feel strongly that we all have wonderful parts inside that we are not using.  I can look back on my own life and know that over the years I had stopped expressing parts of me that used to energize me.  I  think that as the years have gone by most of us have settled into a way of life that works but may not bring us the joy and challenge that we deep down long for.

What you want to do by recharging yourself is to bring forth and use all parts of you.  It is not changing yourself because you are deficient. Rather it is discovering the full dimension of yourself and being who you deep down know you are. It means not being stuck in assigned roles or limited by expectations of others but rather risking to live by your values. It is in the second half of life that we experience the internal push to undertake this journey.  Some people will say to themselves that it is too late or not worth it.  Others will willingly invest the time and energy to recharge their life. The result will be that they will feel changed through the process of recharging themselves and experience a renewal of spirit.

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What is Success?

Thursday, August 21st, 2008

Recently I read the following quote: “The vast majority of people have the deeply entrenched conviction that ’success’ promotes happiness. But it is not success that promotes happiness. When you genuinely enjoy your life, you are successful in the only real meaning of the term!” This was written by Tom Russell, who is not familiar to me.

I agree with him. It is how we feel on the inside about ourselves and our lives that creates success. However, people who genuinely enjoy their lives would not refer to it as success; rather they would feel that is just the way life is supposed to be. Coincidentaly I also recently read an interview with a 100-year-old woman living in Costa Rica who liked her life very much. She lived modestly, was surrounded by generations of family and friends, was active and productive and felt that her life had purpose. I doubt she would have stressed that she felt she was successful. I do think she would have agreed that she was happy.

I am concerned that there are too many people whose lives lack the element of genuine enjoyment. Especially by the time people are in their second half of life they have frequently shut down vital parts of themselves. One of my goals in my work is to help people recharge their personal lives so they can genuinely enjoy their lives.

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Welcome to My First Blog

Thursday, April 17th, 2008

This blog is for people who are eager to take their lives forward and would like tools that will make this journey lighter and more fun. I believe that we all need to keep growing throughout our lives in order to feel happy and fulfilled.

It is in the second half of life that there is this universal inner yearning to make our lives reflect who we really are. By that time we are also usually set in ways that our lives have become rather predictable. My focus will be in supporting you as you recharge your life. I will guide you as you move out of your comfort zone by strengthening your emotional fitness.

On this blog you will also find out about classes that I will be leading on STRENGTHENING YOUR EMOTIONAL FITNESS and on STRENGTHENING YOUR RELATIONSHIPS. These classes will be presented via telephone and webinar and thus accessible to anyone. You will also be able to access and download articles. Visit frequently to see what is being offered.

Additionally, I am very interested in your comments and welcome finding out what your most pressing concerns are. Together we can enrich each others’ lives.

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