Posts Tagged ‘emotional strength’

For Mother’s Day: Tips For Dealing With What Life Brings Your Way

Saturday, May 9th, 2009

This is the first Mother’s Day without my mother.  She died last fall a day shy of her 95th birthday.  As I think of her I see that she has left us a legacy of wisdom tips.  She would describe them as common sense.  She was born in Estonia into a comfortable life which changed drastically during the Second World War.  As a young woman of 29 she fled with her husband, mother, and four young children to Austria and later came to the USA.  Looking back at her life I can see that it was her optimism, tenacity, and spirit that sustained and nurtured our family.

Life tips from my mother:

1. Be open to change

Events happen and circumstances change.  Change is part of life. You are best off putting your energy into finding solutions.

2. Go with the flow

That is much better than fighting things that are truly out of your control.  Use your common sense to figure out the difference.

3. Let go of regrets

Regrets can keep you stuck in the past.  Appreciate what you had but put your energy into the present where you can create  your future.

4. Draw on your resilience

All of us have strengths inside us that we do not even know are there until we truly need them.  Trust yourself and rise to the occasion.

5. Do not forget to go for a daily walk because it will clear your head and be good for your body.

6. Remember you will always possess what is inside you

Material things can end up being temporary but the knowledge you carry within you is there forever.  Get all the education you can, apply yourself, and enjoy what you are doing.

7. Do not complain

Complaining wastes energy.  Instead be  pleasant and have a positive outlook.

8. Be generous,  loving, and share laughter with others.

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Posted in Grow With Kristina, relationship skills | No Comments »

Relationship Skill: Grow Your Self-Esteem

Monday, April 27th, 2009

Our self-esteem can be enhanced throughout our life.  The reason I call my blog “Grow With Kristina” is because I feel strongly that people can  strengthen their emotional fitness  by learning new skills that increase their self-worth.

Self-esteem is made up of the feelings and ideas that we have  about ourselves,  how we communicate with others, the rules we have for how we should feel and act, and how we relate to people in the community.

People short change themselves by staying stuck with ideas they formed a long time ago.  It will take concentrated effort to unlearn ideas and coping mechanisms that are limiting. As adults we have the chance to change the habits of thinking and behavior which do not serve us well.  We can do that by learning effective communication skills and take action to create the life we want.  Without taking action and stretching ourselves we can  not change.

Thought of the day:  Buckminster Fuller

“The minute you begin to do what you want to do, it’s a different kind of life.”

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Posted in Grow With Kristina, Making Changes, communication, self-growth | 1 Comment »

Thoughts on Charles Darwin Day

Thursday, February 12th, 2009

February 12, 2009 is the 200th birthday of the evolutionary biologist Charles Darwin. I have been musing about the following quote by him “It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent, it is the one that is most adaptable to change.”

The ability to change as the situation changes is also vital in our daily lives. When life brings us new challenges we tap into our coping resources to deal with the situation. A great example is the way the crew, passengers, and rescuers coped with the challenges of “the Miracle on the Hudson.” These people adapted in this unprecedented crisis. Staying focused on the task at hand ended up with all 155 people surviving a potentially catastrophic situation. The ability to keep their fears in check made it possible for all to think and act in a way that all the passengers and crew of US Air Flight 1549 were saved.

The current financial stressors are putting great coping demands on many people’s emotional and financial resources. There will be people who will discover that they have resources within them to adapt to their changing circumstances just like there will be others who will have trouble coping. The difference will be the internal ability to acknowledge the scared feelings while at the same time being able to keep them balanced with the ability to think and look for solutions. People can learn to strengthen their coping skills. By continuing to grow emotionally the ability to cope expands.

The Charles Darwin quote is a good reminder that we don’t have to be the strongest, or the most intelligent, to be successful at adapting to change. Our ability to adapt comes from our sense of self, our caring for others, and our emotional coping skills to deal with the inevitability of change.

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