Posts Tagged ‘emotional fitness’
Tuesday, September 1st, 2009
When someone comes to me with relationship issues the question invariably comes up: how can our relationship get better if he/she refuses to come? The answer I give is: you will have to do the couple’s work yourself and I will teach you how to do it. This immediately elicits varied responses depending on the life situation of the person I am talking to. I go on to explain that I have no control over the outcome of his/her relationship since that is for them to figure out. I can, however, help with self-growth and as that gets stronger the confidence to bring up and work for solutions with the absent partner will increase.
I work from the premise that all people deserve the right to full expression of who they are. Relationships encourage this full expression or hinder it. I teach people to think of relationships as having a life of their own. To think in terms of there being three separate parts: I, you, and we. All three are engaged in the independence/dependence dance. The balance in the relationship works the way it does because both people do their part. By increasing self-growth skills of one person the balance in the relationship changes. The result is that either the relationship becomes enhanced or it becomes clear that it will not grow.
This fall I will be teaching a teleclass on Self-growth and Relationships. I am still looking for a catchy name. Check back here for dates and times.
Tags: emotional fitness, Kristina von Rosenvinge, self-mastery, selfgrowth
Posted in relationship skills, self-growth | 2 Comments »
Thursday, July 23rd, 2009
Today’s radio show was again on strengthening emotional energy. The focus was on establishing good boundaries. In order to make the most of life after fifty we need energy and having strong boundaries frees us so we can make our dreams a reality.
Are you familiar with the phrase: Circle of Confidence? I think it is a wonderful way of describing our boundaries. The smaller our boundaries the less confidence we have and the larger our boundaries the more confidence we have. In actuality boundaries are imaginary lines that we have around ourselves. They define us - where we start and where we end. For instance someone with weak boundaries will let others make decisions for him/her. They will have trouble saying appropriate NOs and feel taken advantage of.
Three ways to increase the level of confidence:
1. Believe that you have a right to feel good about yourself.
2. Develop confidence by taking responsibility for yourself.
3. Allow others to help you build your level of confidence.
As your confidence grows you will experience a change in the invisible boundary circle around you. You will trust yourself more and go after what you want. You will follow through and make your second half of life the best time of yur life.
Tags: baby boomers, emotional fitness, empower, Kristina von Rosenvinge, second half of life, self-esteem
Posted in Grow With Kristina, boomers and beyond, self-growth, vibrant after fifty | 3 Comments »
Monday, June 1st, 2009
Recently I came across this quote by Louis Hay that I really love because it captures the essence of self empowerment. ” When you make it OK to be yourself then you automatically allow others to be themselves. Their little habits no longer bother you so much. You release the need to “change them” as you want them to be. As you stop judging others, they release the need to judge you. Everybody gets to be free.”
The goal of self empowerment work is to be happy and content with the kind of person you are. It means accepting yourself just the way you are. When you stop judging yourself you free yourself up to make some of the changes you would like to make. You are no longer saying to yourself “I will be OK after I do this or that”. Instead by accepting yourself as being OK you can put your energy into doing the things you would like to change. For instance if you want to be healthier you may start an exercise program and eat more nutritious food. You are doing this because you want to increase the quality of your health and well being. You are no longer judging your merit rather you are making changes because you choose to do them.
Letting go of judging self and others is freeing and allows you to be the kind of person you are meant to be.
Tags: emotional fitness, empower, grow, self-growth, self-mastery
Posted in Grow With Kristina, Making Changes, self-growth | No Comments »
Tuesday, May 26th, 2009
After writing 30 daily blogs I took a short break. Now I am back wanting to talk about the power of relationships on communication.
Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you could not be yourself? What I mean is being around someone else where you felt squelched. I can certainly recall times when this has happened to me.
The other day I talked with the daughter of a friend who had gone through a divorce several years ago and now was in a new marriage. When I commented as to how happy she looked she replied ” it is so easy now this relationship is so normal”. We all long for relationships where we feel accepted and can be ourselves. The reality is that relationships organize us. In relationships that are open there is freedom for each person to be themselves, where self esteem is nurtured and communication is direct, clear, and growth-producing. Contrast that with a closed relationship system where communication is indirect, unclear, and growth-impeding. In such relationships differences are handled by blaming, distracting, ignoring, or placating.
Yet after time even in good relationships people can establish habitual patterns that may no longer meet the needs of one individual. Much of what I teach is directed at people who want to make changes within their relationship system. By understanding the power of relationship dynamics change can be introduced that not only strengthens the emotional fitness of each individual but also enhances the relationship.
Tags: communication, emotional fitness, grow, grow as a person, Kristina von Rosenvinge, relationships
Posted in Grow With Kristina, Making Changes, communication, relationship skills, relationships | 2 Comments »
Monday, May 11th, 2009
Today I was interviewed by Connie Ragen Green who is teaching me all about how to create a successful internet business. The focus was on my business which is teaching people how to upgrade their lives and enhance their relationships. I do this by teaching healthy self growth and relationship skills which increase happiness, the ability to deal with whatever life brings, and relationship satisfaction.
What I enjoyed was how freely Connie tied in examples from her life to illustrate the points I was making. Anyone who listens to this interview will get a good idea as to what it means to increase your emotional fitness. We talked about options one has when one is in a personal or work situation which squelches people. We got into a lengthy sequence on what to do when ones feelings are hurt. I shared specific tools that will help people get back in control and figure out what action to take.
You can listen to this interview here.
I would love to hear your comments and suggestions about our interview.
Tags: communication, emotional fitness, grow, relationship, relationships. grow your potential, self-growth
Posted in Grow With Kristina, Making Changes, communication, relationship skills, relationships, retirement, self-growth | 3 Comments »
Monday, May 4th, 2009
One of the most influential teachers I ever had was Virginia Satir. She was a pioneer in family therapy. I believe, her greatest contribution was her stead fast belief that “our path to our higher selves is through the development of high self-worth and that all people can learn to behave in accordance with their higher natures.”
She was optimistic about human potential. She believed that if one grew up in a home where parents could not teach self worth one could learn new coping and communication skills later in life that would be empowering. Much of my work is exactly that - guiding people to bring forth their human potential. I do this by teaching self-growth and relationship skills for enhancing self mastery and strengthening relationships. Additionally, I provide coaching over the telephone and therapy in my office in Annapolis.
Tags: emotional fitness, grow, grow as a person, happiness, Kristina von Rosenvinge, self-mastery, strengthening emotional fitness
Posted in Grow With Kristina, Making Changes, relationship skills | 1 Comment »
Monday, May 4th, 2009
I just came across the following quote by David Whyte, poet and philosopher: “You feed your longing and desires and they do the work. My whole life has been following my intuitions and strange beckonings.” A few months ago I attended a half day workshop with David Whyte. He is truly gifted in his poetry and in his eloquent delivery in addition to being a keen observer of people and a teacher of ideas.
When I think about the part intuition has played in my life I know that when I have followed it I have done well to have headed it. Intuition provides that sixth sense we get about certain situations and events or directions to take. We need to trust our intuition because it is there for a reason. Intuition is the springboard for developing ideas and plans for action. Albert Einstein said “The real valuable thing is intuition”.
Thought of the day:
Trust your intuition, it will guide you well.
Tags: be present, emotional fitness, grow, Kristina von Rosenvinge, recharge
Posted in Grow With Kristina, Making Changes, self-growth | No Comments »
Friday, May 1st, 2009
A big part of communication is how we talk to ourselves. Our inner dialogue goes on all the time. It is there were we are aware of our insecurities, anxieties, joys, strengths and weaknesses. What we share on the outside is greatly determined by how safe we feel within ourselves.
Many of the messages we say to ourselves are outdated. We form an internal picture of who we are and operate from that. A good example is Molly, a very successful professional woman, who at 58 was still feeling inadequate on the inside. Professionally she trusted herself but in her personal life she had difficulty keeping friends and forming relationships. Having been raised with a lot of put downs her inner dialogue still operated from the past.
In order to grow in emotional fitness we have to be willing to examine our internal speaking habits and be willing to update what we say to and about ourselves.
Tags: communication, emotional fitness, grow, Kristina von Rosenvinge, self-mastery
Posted in Grow With Kristina, communication, self-growth | No Comments »
Monday, April 27th, 2009
Our self-esteem can be enhanced throughout our life. The reason I call my blog “Grow With Kristina” is because I feel strongly that people can strengthen their emotional fitness by learning new skills that increase their self-worth.
Self-esteem is made up of the feelings and ideas that we have about ourselves, how we communicate with others, the rules we have for how we should feel and act, and how we relate to people in the community.
People short change themselves by staying stuck with ideas they formed a long time ago. It will take concentrated effort to unlearn ideas and coping mechanisms that are limiting. As adults we have the chance to change the habits of thinking and behavior which do not serve us well. We can do that by learning effective communication skills and take action to create the life we want. Without taking action and stretching ourselves we can not change.
Thought of the day: Buckminster Fuller
“The minute you begin to do what you want to do, it’s a different kind of life.”
Tags: change, communication, emotional fitness, emotional strength, grow, Kristina von Rosenvinge, self-mastery
Posted in Grow With Kristina, Making Changes, communication, self-growth | 1 Comment »
Tuesday, March 10th, 2009
Those of you who are regular readers no doubt have noticed that I recently changed the header of my blog. My previous header focused on people in their second half of life which is a goup dear to me especially since I also fall into that category. However, when I was writing my blog, that was not the group I was writing to.
My new header is much more reflective of what I want to write about. I enjoy teaching self growth and relationship skills that will lead to business and personal success. I find that people can make effective changes when they strengthen their emotional fitness and have basic understanding of how relationship systems work. We all have far more potential than we use. I find it very rewarding to teach people skills that allow them to expand their unique capabilities as they deal with whatever life brings to them.
I have not abandoned my interest in people in the second half of life. I see myself offering targeted workshops to people in that age group which address some of the specific concerns of this group. Yet I feel strongly that strengthening emotional fitness regardless of age becomes the foundation for creating a good life.
Tags: emotional fitness, grow, Kristina von Rosenvinge, relationships, self-growth, self-mastery
Posted in Grow With Kristina | No Comments »
