After yoga class a friend and I started speaking about the effects of change on relationships. I mentioned that whenever one person takes a new step at first the spouse usually is supportive. It is when the change starts affecting him/her that re-balancing becomes necessary.
My friend said she new exactly what I was talking about. After retiring from her full time job she decided to take a part time job that excited her. Her husband, who was retired, was very encouraging and supportive. After she started the job and was not around as much he started grumbling. He was missing her company. He had to figure out what to do with his time since she did not want to leave her new job. What was the solution? To her delight he got into gourmet cooking and it has developed into a real passion. The result being that both of their lives have become enriched.
This couple faced a brief rough spot that they handled successfully. In other situations I have seen the person who started the change give up his/her dream because the spouse could not adjust to change. The result invariably leads to an imbalance in the relationship because there is a winner and a loser. Incorporating positive change will leave both people energized by the new endeavors.
