Archive for the ‘boomers and beyond’ Category

Snowed-In

Sunday, December 20th, 2009

We are snowed-in.  Twenty  inches makes for a beautiful winter wonderland.

The snowfall made me aware of how important it is to be flexible.  My weekend was planned with shopping, the grandkids coming to decorate the tree and spend the night, buying and mailing last minute presents and baking cookies.  Everything, except for baking cookies, had to be put on hold.

Instead, I decided to go with the flow and enjoy the snow and the warmth of our house. We watched a movie, shoveled snow-an endless task- and relaxed.  It made for a very pleasant day. I had to remind myself that whatever had to be done would get done just not as efficiently as I had it organized in my mind. In order not to be anxious about the undone tasks I literally have to tell myself to let it go.

I see flexibility as a conscious activity.  We have a choice to make: keep fretting or decide to accept what we cannot change and make the best of it.

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Posted in Grow With Kristina, Making Changes, boomers and beyond, communication, growth mindset, relationships, retirement, vibrant after fifty | No Comments »

Menopause Challenges Relationships

Wednesday, November 11th, 2009

Recently I was asked if I thought that menopause freed women up or caused trouble.  What a perceptive question since the answer is that both things happen.  It is not an either/or.

The most tumultuous time for women are the few years (anywhere from 2 to 10) prior to menopause  where most women experience a variety of physical symptoms accompanied by various emotional  fluctuations. This is not only stressful for the woman who is in peri menopause but also for everyone else in her life. Along with this comes the realization that she  is now in the second half of life and the remaining time feels more finite.  As result of this menopausal transition most women emerge with a clearer sense of who they are and what they want for themselves.

This greater clarity however can put a lot of strain on relationships.  Especially if the other partner is content with how life has been. However, any time one person wants to make changes it affects the balance of their relationship.  This is where the trouble comes in for couples.  How they negotiate these different needs is crucial.  Women whose partners are inflexible and can not accept these changes feel that they have one of two choices: they either let go of what they want for themselves or they end up leaving their relationships.  Statistics show that more women initiate divorce when they are in their fifties than at any other time of their life.

Couples that can incorporate the “menopause freed up” woman find that their relationships are enriched.  Some do it on their own while others take advantage of professional help to learn how to grow together.

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Posted in Grow With Kristina, boomers and beyond, relationships | 1 Comment »

Optimism is Good For The Heart

Tuesday, August 18th, 2009

I have been a real advocate for developing a positive attitude.  Recently there was an interesting brief article in my local paper which caught my attention. Finally,  there is medical validity that an optimistic attitude is good for the heart. The question raised in the study was: Does a person’s outlook on life-whether, for instance, they think good things or bad things will happen in the future, affect the health of his or her heart?

In this study were 97,253 women, 50 to 79 years old, who did not have cardiovascular disease at the beginning of the study.  The finding that impressed me so was that in the next 8 years the women with the most optimistic attitude were and I will quote ” 9% less likely to develop heart disease, 14% less likely to die prematurely from any cause and 39% less likely to die from heart disease than were women deemed to be the most pessimistic”.

I have maintained all along that having an optimistic attitude is good for over all health and well being but finally here are convincing results that validate it.  There are three other important factors for strengthening ones attitude: 1. you feel better,2. you have more friends, 3. life is more fun.  Fortunately the people who are in the habit of being pessimistic (unless suffering from serious depression)  can learn to change their attitude and improve their health.

Posted in Grow With Kristina, boomers and beyond, self-growth | No Comments »

Relationship Dilemma

Tuesday, August 11th, 2009

When one person in a relationship starts making changes and the other doesn’t there is  an effect on the balance of the relationship.  Whenever I am coaching someone at some point this balance struggle arises.  This does not  just happen to the people I coach but it is a universal phenomenon.  As one person starts making consistent changes there is an effort by others to reestablish the old equilibrium.

Once one understands that this is bound to happen it becomes easier to resist the return to the old equilibrium.  No doubt you have heard or experienced that when trying to loose weight friends, spouses, co-workers etc. may start bringing in foods that undermine these efforts.  The key is to stay stead fast and ignore this sabotage and in time others will accept the change. Likewise,  when initiating change in a relationship balance there will inevitably be some resistance.  Even though the steps taken may be all for the good there will be a brief period of pull back by others to the familiar equilibrium.

This Thursday, August 13, I will discuss this phenomenon in detail in my weekly Radio Show:http://www.vibrantafterfifty.com

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Posted in boomers and beyond, communication, relationships | No Comments »

Vibrant After Fifty Blog Talk Radio Show

Thursday, July 23rd, 2009

Today’s radio show was again on strengthening emotional energy.  The focus was on establishing good boundaries.  In order to make the most of life after fifty we need energy and having strong boundaries frees us so we can make our dreams a reality.

Are you familiar with the  phrase: Circle of Confidence?  I think  it is a wonderful way of describing our boundaries.  The smaller our boundaries the less confidence we have and the larger our boundaries the more confidence we have. In actuality boundaries are imaginary lines that we have around ourselves.  They define us - where we start and where we end. For instance someone with weak boundaries will let others make decisions for him/her.  They will have trouble saying appropriate NOs and feel taken advantage of.

Three ways to increase the level of confidence:

1. Believe that you have a right to feel good about yourself.

2. Develop confidence by taking responsibility for yourself.

3. Allow others to help you build your level of confidence.

As  your confidence grows you will experience a change in the invisible boundary circle around you. You will trust yourself more and go after what you want.  You will follow through and make your second half of life  the best time of yur life.

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Posted in Grow With Kristina, boomers and beyond, self-growth, vibrant after fifty | 3 Comments »