June 17th, 2009
In order to be fully engaged in life we have to have energy. Yet a very common refrain that I hear from people is that they do not have enough energy to do what they want to do. So they spend considerable time in passive activities like watching TV or sports. That being the case, the task ahead is to discover and develop sources of energy for renewal. What can we do to create more energy?
We need two kinds of energy: physical and emotional. How can we attain more physical energy? We have to remember that energy is our fundamental source of fuel for being able to be alert, concentrate and stay on tasks. We get this fuel from the foods we eat and how we care for the health of our body. At any age, but especially as we get older, it is important to review our eating and exercise habits.
There is an other source of fuel for living . That is emotional energy. It starts with developing a positive attitude about life. It is incredible how draining a negative attitude can be. Negativity is a well known energy zapper. Unless one is in a serious depression it will take practice to change ones negative mindset. It is well worth the effort because by creating a positive mindset we increase the quality of our lives.
Tags: communication, grow, grow as a person, Kristina von Rosenvinge
Posted in Grow With Kristina, communication, relationships, self-growth | 1 Comment »
June 10th, 2009
How about a reality show for keeping your mind in shape? Somehow “Are You as Smart as a Fifth Grader” did not quite cut it. The focus there was on knowing certain facts. What the grown ups could not show was how successful they were in handling their adult responsibilities. It is those skills that ultimately determine how “SMART” one really is. Keeping the mind in shape requires two things: 1. intellectual curiosity and 2. emotional fitness.
Intellectual curiosity is an antidote to mental apathy and is necessary for staying intellectually alive. If the mind is not stimulated it begins to atrophy. By staying curious the ability to think and problem solve is stimulated. Additionally, if you want to improve your life you have to strengthen your emotional fitness. We can learn to strengthen the positive emotions which include self confidence and happiness.
I believe that we can grow our emotional fitness just like we do with physical fitness. In each case it takes effort and desire to make the desired changes. We do that by letting go of habits that do not serve us well and learning new skills that empower us. Keeping our minds in shape is just as important as keeping our bodies in shape. The goal is to have a life that is fulfilling and energized.
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June 4th, 2009
I am finally going to have my own Blog Talk Radio Show. The title is: Second Act Success for Baby Boomers and Beyond. The shortened version is Second Act Success. The focus of the show will be on how to make this the best time of your life.
In the second half of life the emphasis what matters shift to desiring inner happiness, having meaningful relationships, and being able to pursue ones passions. There are many people who yearn for those things but they talk them selves out of attaining them. In my radio show I will be giving specific tools for what to do in order to achieve Second Act Success. Of course each of us defines success in our own way. That is how it should be since we are all unique. The beauty is that as mature adults we have the power within us to create our life so we feel successful.
As soon as I have set up the date and time of the Second Act Success show I will post it here, twitter about it, and spread it on facebook.
Tags: baby boomers, grow, grow as a person, happiness, Kristina von Rosenvinge, self-growth
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June 1st, 2009
Recently I came across this quote by Louis Hay that I really love because it captures the essence of self empowerment. ” When you make it OK to be yourself then you automatically allow others to be themselves. Their little habits no longer bother you so much. You release the need to “change them” as you want them to be. As you stop judging others, they release the need to judge you. Everybody gets to be free.”
The goal of self empowerment work is to be happy and content with the kind of person you are. It means accepting yourself just the way you are. When you stop judging yourself you free yourself up to make some of the changes you would like to make. You are no longer saying to yourself “I will be OK after I do this or that”. Instead by accepting yourself as being OK you can put your energy into doing the things you would like to change. For instance if you want to be healthier you may start an exercise program and eat more nutritious food. You are doing this because you want to increase the quality of your health and well being. You are no longer judging your merit rather you are making changes because you choose to do them.
Letting go of judging self and others is freeing and allows you to be the kind of person you are meant to be.
Tags: emotional fitness, empower, grow, self-growth, self-mastery
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May 28th, 2009
Communication occurs in between people. When communication is open it is easy. There is an understood freedom to comment on anything and communication is growth-producing. When communication is closed there are overt or silent messages that one has to be careful about what one says. The result is that self-worth is defined more and more by other people and self-esteem is low.
How does one go about changing communication so it is open and growth -enhancing? We all share the common human need that we desire to feel good about ourselves. If we grew up in homes where parents did not know how to teach good communication skills we can, now that we are adults, unlearn the messages and behaviors that diminish us.
An example comes to mind. Molly was angry at her husband because he always got his way. As I helped Molly look at her part in their marital balance it became apparent that, whenever there was a disagreement, she gave in. As she became aware of her part in the relationship balance she started to initiate change. She realized that conflict made her uneasy and her tendency was to quickly acquiesce. As she strengthened her “speak up for myself” muscle she saw that her husband was not as unreasonable as she thought he was.
If we want to change communication patterns the only person we have control over is ourselves. By one person working on communicating by being clear, direct, and growth producing everyone’s self-esteem is enhanced.
Tags: communication, conflict, grow as a person, Kristina von Rosenvinge, relationships, self-esteem
Posted in Grow With Kristina, communication | 2 Comments »
May 26th, 2009
After writing 30 daily blogs I took a short break. Now I am back wanting to talk about the power of relationships on communication.
Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you could not be yourself? What I mean is being around someone else where you felt squelched. I can certainly recall times when this has happened to me.
The other day I talked with the daughter of a friend who had gone through a divorce several years ago and now was in a new marriage. When I commented as to how happy she looked she replied ” it is so easy now this relationship is so normal”. We all long for relationships where we feel accepted and can be ourselves. The reality is that relationships organize us. In relationships that are open there is freedom for each person to be themselves, where self esteem is nurtured and communication is direct, clear, and growth-producing. Contrast that with a closed relationship system where communication is indirect, unclear, and growth-impeding. In such relationships differences are handled by blaming, distracting, ignoring, or placating.
Yet after time even in good relationships people can establish habitual patterns that may no longer meet the needs of one individual. Much of what I teach is directed at people who want to make changes within their relationship system. By understanding the power of relationship dynamics change can be introduced that not only strengthens the emotional fitness of each individual but also enhances the relationship.
Tags: communication, emotional fitness, grow, grow as a person, Kristina von Rosenvinge, relationships
Posted in Grow With Kristina, Making Changes, communication, relationship skills, relationships | 2 Comments »
May 11th, 2009
Today I was interviewed by Connie Ragen Green who is teaching me all about how to create a successful internet business. The focus was on my business which is teaching people how to upgrade their lives and enhance their relationships. I do this by teaching healthy self growth and relationship skills which increase happiness, the ability to deal with whatever life brings, and relationship satisfaction.
What I enjoyed was how freely Connie tied in examples from her life to illustrate the points I was making. Anyone who listens to this interview will get a good idea as to what it means to increase your emotional fitness. We talked about options one has when one is in a personal or work situation which squelches people. We got into a lengthy sequence on what to do when ones feelings are hurt. I shared specific tools that will help people get back in control and figure out what action to take.
You can listen to this interview here.
I would love to hear your comments and suggestions about our interview.
Tags: communication, emotional fitness, grow, relationship, relationships. grow your potential, self-growth
Posted in Grow With Kristina, Making Changes, communication, relationship skills, relationships, retirement, self-growth | 3 Comments »
May 9th, 2009
This is the first Mother’s Day without my mother. She died last fall a day shy of her 95th birthday. As I think of her I see that she has left us a legacy of wisdom tips. She would describe them as common sense. She was born in Estonia into a comfortable life which changed drastically during the Second World War. As a young woman of 29 she fled with her husband, mother, and four young children to Austria and later came to the USA. Looking back at her life I can see that it was her optimism, tenacity, and spirit that sustained and nurtured our family.
Life tips from my mother:
1. Be open to change
Events happen and circumstances change. Change is part of life. You are best off putting your energy into finding solutions.
2. Go with the flow
That is much better than fighting things that are truly out of your control. Use your common sense to figure out the difference.
3. Let go of regrets
Regrets can keep you stuck in the past. Appreciate what you had but put your energy into the present where you can create your future.
4. Draw on your resilience
All of us have strengths inside us that we do not even know are there until we truly need them. Trust yourself and rise to the occasion.
5. Do not forget to go for a daily walk because it will clear your head and be good for your body.
6. Remember you will always possess what is inside you
Material things can end up being temporary but the knowledge you carry within you is there forever. Get all the education you can, apply yourself, and enjoy what you are doing.
7. Do not complain
Complaining wastes energy. Instead be pleasant and have a positive outlook.
8. Be generous, loving, and share laughter with others.
Tags: emotional strength, grow, happiness, Kristina von Rosenvinge, Mother's Day
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May 5th, 2009
There are times when a book comes out that really captures the versatility and uniqueness of a special group of people. Such a new book is “Eye of My Heart - 27 writers reveal the hidden pleasures and perils of being a grandmother”. Barbara Graham, a noted writer herself, asked these women to share their stories. The result shows what a diverse group of people we are defining what it is like to be a grandmother in the 21st century. I am happy to include myself in this group since I am a grandmother to six delightful children.
What makes these stories so good is that they are written from the heart. Many of the authors will be well known to the readers. To get a glimpse into their families is a special treat. They talk about the struggles of working out the roles between adult children and grandparents, what to be called, how much to be involved etc. all illuminated by the sheer joy of being a grandmother.
So if anyone is still looking for that special gift for Mother’s Day I would highly recommend “Eye of my Heart” by Barbara Graham.
Tags: grandmothers, happiness, Kristina von Rosenvinge, Mother's Day gift idea
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May 4th, 2009
One of the most influential teachers I ever had was Virginia Satir. She was a pioneer in family therapy. I believe, her greatest contribution was her stead fast belief that “our path to our higher selves is through the development of high self-worth and that all people can learn to behave in accordance with their higher natures.”
She was optimistic about human potential. She believed that if one grew up in a home where parents could not teach self worth one could learn new coping and communication skills later in life that would be empowering. Much of my work is exactly that - guiding people to bring forth their human potential. I do this by teaching self-growth and relationship skills for enhancing self mastery and strengthening relationships. Additionally, I provide coaching over the telephone and therapy in my office in Annapolis.
Tags: emotional fitness, grow, grow as a person, happiness, Kristina von Rosenvinge, self-mastery, strengthening emotional fitness
Posted in Grow With Kristina, Making Changes, relationship skills | No Comments »
